Give your mother my book

Here is the Introduction to my book: Motherhood is Madness- How to break the chains that prevent mothers from being truly happy.

You can find it on my website (by donation) or on Amazon.

Introduction

“To say there is a sinister plot against American women is both overblown and exactly right. Technically speaking there is no War on Moms, of course. There is no concerted effort to kill or maim women who have children. But if some sinister think tank had spent the last thirty years cooking up the ideal way to make American women miserable, it likely couldn’t have served up more unpleasantness than women now encounter on a daily basis.” ~ Sharon Lerner

Mothers today feel like they are going absolutely crazy. They are exhausted, underpaid and under-appreciated. They feel like slaves to their kids, to their home, to their husbands and often to their careers – just like their mothers did.

Corinne Maier’s best-selling book, No Kids, describes how devastating child-rearing can be. From ruining sex lives and relationships to sucking up every spare moment attending kids’ soccer games, it’s no surprise that couples are struggling so much these days.

So what went wrong? Why is being a mother so difficult? Did the suffragists and feminists fail mothers?

Most people blame mothers for this state of affairs. We tell them they are simply taking on too much and trying to be supermoms. We point out that in their effort to please everyone, they often fail. We tell them that all they need to do is slow down, stop being perfectionists and work harder at finding work-life balance; stop micro-managing kids and take a break. And if this does not work we remind them that they brought all these struggles upon themselves and it’s their own fault for choosing to have children. We tell them that wanting to have both a happy family and a meaningful career is crazy. And we say things like, “You can’t have your cake and eat it too.” We expect them to lie in the bed they made.

The research, however, paints another picture. As you will see in this book, mothers and their choices are not the real cause of all these difficulties. Indeed most mothers do not have the option to scale back. Indeed 70% of mothers work outside the home and still carry the bulk of the domestic chores and child-rearing.

At the root of all these so-called, “mother’s problems” is a whole “institution of motherhood” that we have inherited that constrains mothers. The academic experts on this topic call this system several different names such as, “the institution of motherhood,” “momism,” the “MRS,” “the sticky floor” or “the mommy trap. “

Motherhood Is Madness shines a light on the mommy trap and shifts the blame from mothers to a whole system, consisting of hundreds of barriers and biases that make it extraordinarily difficult to raise children today. This “sticky floor” is so deeply rooted in long-standing beliefs that we can barely see it. Yet in combination these factors systematically curtail mothers’ choices in many different ways, limiting options to such a degree that women feel they have no choice at all.

Here you will learn that motherhood is truly madness, but need not be. By looking at the expectations and pressures that mothers face we can see why so many mothers feel trapped and unhappy. Motherhood, as we know it, is complete insanity and it must stop! In this book I do three things:

· I acknowledge the reality of mothers’ lives and describe the very real circumstances and decisions mothers must make regarding family and career. I challenge the myth that all motherhood is blissful.

· I provide information and research that shows the many ways that our society holds mothers back – from inflexible workplaces to financial dependence on husbands. This helps women stop blaming themselves and understand better why they are so stressed out.

· I provide specific action steps so both men and women can begin to challenge our outdated model of motherhood and usher in a new one that not only supports mothers and gives them the status they deserve, but also values children and families.

I believe that when mothers (and fathers) learn the truth about what is really going on they will not only free themselves from the shackles of motherhood but will be more able to contribute to making the world better for their daughters and sons. After all, aren’t our families the most important “possessions” in our lives and isn’t motherhood the most important job in the world?

I also want to remind all mothers they are perfect just as they are and that they are probably doing enough. As a society we are treating you poorly and unfairly and you deserve so much more.