How to Surface your Shadow

And how projection works

“Any occurrence in our life that emotionally triggers us in a negative way is always a message from the past being communicated to us in the present.” Michael Brown, The Presence Process

Shadow-work may the most important inner psychological work that you can do in this lifetime. This is because your Shadow, which consists of beliefs and fears, impacts your life every single minute of the day, unbeknownst to you.

In prior articles I described what the Shadow is and how it forms. In the next few articles I describe how to surface and integrate your Shadow. You will learn how to:

• notice when your Shadow is acting out,

• surface your limiting beliefs and fears,

• observe when your fears and beliefs are holding you back and

• integrate your Shadow so you can be more whole.

You will also discover that humans are naturally designed to surface and integrate their Shadows. It is part of the evolution of humanity - to move towards wholeness.

How the Shadow operates

Deep within your unconscious psyche, is your Shadow or pain-body. It contains many false beliefs and fears that are causing you problems and holding you back. Some were inherited (as part of the Human Condition) while others were created in childhood through supressed negative experiences. For example, you might fear abandonment and believe that you are not worthy or deserving.

In order to be whole and live a joyful life, it’s critical to clear or integrate these fears and beliefs. This process is called Shadow-work and involves raising your subconscious to your awareness and integrating hidden aspects.

The biggest hurdle with Shadow-work is the fact that the Shadow is invisible. As author Bill Plotkin says, not only do we struggle with finding our Shadow but we also don’t know what we are looking for. As well, your egoic mind is terrified of the Shadow and does not want you to find it, as explained here:

“Your task is somewhat like searching for a never-before-seen, merely rumoured, nocturnal animal. Actually your mission is even more implausible than that – not only do you not know exactly what you’re looking for, and not only is it the case that what you’re looking for does not want to be found, but also, worse yet, you don’t really want to find it.“ Bill Plotkin

Not only is your Shadow completely buried in your psyche, it does not surface like other memories, but rather surfaces as “nameless sensations” and thus not possible to recall as images, as described here by Michael Brown,

“Because these supressed memories and their corresponding emotions are so deeply embedded in our unconscious, they are often only apparent to us, if at all, as nameless sensations. Because of this, it is not possible for us to recall them as images in our mind’s eye, as we could a memory of a recent event that has happened in our life. Therefore, this is not the manner in which they surface into our awareness.”

We are designed to be whole

Although the Shadow is hidden, believe it or not, we humans have been designed to surface it and deal with it. In fact, those parts of you that you buried, such as your traumas, are designed to keep surfacing or coming to your attention until you heal them. As Pema Chodron says, “The problem will never go away until it has taught us the lesson we need to learn.”

According to Eckhart Tolle, the pain-body will show up whether invited or uninvited and will create painful events until we ultimately wake up. He says, “The suffering you create will eventually force you out of your unconscious state.“  In other words, suffering is your psyches’ way of releasing the Shadow and trauma and making you whole again, as explained here:

“Trauma is trapped energy that has not been properly released from the physical and emotional body. The mind holds onto the energy because it is waiting for something to meet the trauma with love, and to tell it that it’s going to be okay. Trauma is a portal to emotions from our past that are trying to get our attention so that we can acknowledge them, and embrace them and move forward.”  Shaman Durek

What is projection?

Even better news is that we humans have within us a built-in ability to surface our Shadow. This natural ability is called “projection” and is the process by which we “project” our subconscious onto our outer life circumstances, as described here:  

“Because we have turned suppressing unwanted memories into a fine art form, these unconscious memories will not surface as pictures or images in our mind, but as unfolding outer circumstances or as the way people around us behave. In other words, we are going to become increasingly aware that the behavior of people around us and the outer circumstances that we are experiencing are “deliberately” reminding us of the past.” Michael Brown, The Presence Process

In other words, we can observe our Shadow by seeing it reflected in the behaviour of other people! As we go through life, we project what is inside of us (such as thoughts, beliefs and emotions) out onto “the screen” of our world. In his bestselling book, “Letting Go” David Hawkins suggests that our whole life is essentially a mirroring of our insides. As he says, this mirror shows us the things we are not conscious of and can’t see:  

“Everyone in our life is acting as a mirror. They are really reflecting back to us what we have failed to acknowledge within ourselves. They are forcing us to look at what needs to be addressed. What aspect of our smaller self needs to be relinquished?”

Thus, the process of projection is doing us a favour by surfacing the blocks that are holding us back. It’s truly a powerful self-correcting device so we that don’t wander around living small lives under the weight of our Shadow and past traumas. Instead, we can see our traumas to become whole, as suggested here:

“Healing occurs when we accept reality as it is, and when we acknowledge that everything happens for the greater good of our being – that our trauma is leading us somewhere.“ Shaman Duek

This projection and mirroring is not only happening all the time and informing us about where we are blocked, but it also shows us the root of our problems and helps us wake up to our True Selves, as explained here by Henry Grayson,

“What we see in ourselves, we will see in others, and what we see in others, reflects whet we believe about ourselves. When we can see the other person as mirroring our insides, then we have begun to awaken to the world of the True Self. All of the problems with others that grow out of our own projections and arise from the illusion of separation are thereby diminished or extinguished in that moment.“

Each irritation is an invitation

So how do we surface and integrate our shadow? Day by day, as we experience situations and interact with various people, we are presented with the opportunity to see our Shadow. When we get irritated, frustrated or triggered we can be sure that there is something inside of us that needs to be investigated.

Of course, our usual first response to difficulties (in an egoic state of mind) is often to blame our irritation on something outside of us, such as people or circumstances. More often than not, we will point to our partner, our boss, our children and even the weather before we will look inside.  Indeed, this single egoic tendency is epidemic in our society and a huge barrier to doing Shadow work.

But if we can suspend blaming and look inside we will see that, although initially unpleasant, irritations  are almost always opportunities to see our unconscious fears, beliefs and programming. Almost every obstacle is a chance to peel back our Shadow, as described here:

“There is an old adage in Sufi Islam that says that the soul is covered by one thousand veils. Our lives, then, consist of endless unveilings. Every obstacle we face along our journey offers us the chance to remove one of those veils.“ Sara Avant Stover

Deeper benefits of Shadow work

Shadow-work is not just for the purpose of becoming well-adjusted and less depressed or stressed. It is also important to waking up. It has been suggested, for example, that our very wounds or Shadow aspects are part of the process of waking up. Unless we clear our Shadow, we can not see who we truly are and thus live congruent and authentic lives.

Specifically, Bill Plotkin discovered a particular core wound that emerges from a “preexisting Soul-derived vulnerability.” He suggests that it is actually designed to wake us up (through a dark night of the soul). He describes it as follows:   

“Core wounds are not caused merely by our woundings. Each of us is born with a physical, psychological and/or spiritual vulnerability. – a susceptibly arranged by the Soul itself, which renders us woundable in a particularly painful way by certain variety of wounding events.”

He suggests that the Soul orchestrates the wound so that it enables each of us to break through the ego. It causes a moment of supreme self-doubt and, “requires that we first die to who we thought we were and then be plunged into a period of not knowing, during which we might uncover a mystery.” In doing so we discover our soul’s purpose, as explained here:

“The central principle of [Shadow] work is that our psychological wounds provide portals to the very depth of our psyches. Our wounds are not merely - or even primarily - things to heal and overcome. They’re also, when we are developmentally prepared, something to reopen, explore, learn from and be transformed by. When we are ready for the decent to the soul … we ask not to be healed but rather to be torn open so we may remember who we were at the start and who we can yet become.” Bill Plotkin

As for me, I found that doing Shadow-work helped me not only get over my fears and limiting beliefs but also helped me during my own dark night of the soul. Indeed, my regular Shadow-work continues to help me stay awake and expand every single day. Bill Plotkin agrees here,

“What you can be sure of is that the fire will change you and [these experiences] will likely alter you to your core. To reshape what you know as the world, and to provide you with psychological and spiritual opportunities you wouldn’t have had otherwise…perhaps leading to the “mystery of your destiny.”

In summary, it is critical to your happiness and wholeness to integrate your Shadow. Although it is hidden, humans have an intrinsic ability called projection that enables us to see our subconscious fears and beliefs. In effect we mirror our insides (beliefs and fears) onto others and outer circumstances.

This means that when we are irritated or offended we have opportunity to look at ourselves and investigate our inner fears and beliefs. Integrating the Shadow enhances our well-being and can wake us up to our true selves so we can live more authentic lives.

Stay tuned.

In my next entries I talk about:

• How to use triggers to surface your Shadow

• Various Shadow-work techniques

This is an excerpt from my upcoming book: “Wake the F Up.” Thanks for joining me on the journey! This Substack is completely supported by you the readers. The best way to support me is to buy my books, invite me to speak or become a subscriber here.