Why bother healing?
Psychological and spiritual healing made easy
“So it’s not enough to have spiritual realizations. It is also essential to deconstruct the subconscious emotional and mental patterns that are held in the body and the mind, and that prevent people from fully embodying a larger way of being in their lives.” John Welwood
A friend of mine recently asked me what I meant by “healing.” She wanted to know what everyone meant when they said, “You need to do your work.” She wondered if she needed therapy or help in dealing with her past baggage or traumas. Frankly I am surprised that we don’t teach this topic to our children. It’s THAT important.
The first thing you need to know is that you have a subconscious “body/mind” and it is running (and in some cases ruining) your life. The second is that there is stuff in there that is probably causing you to act out weirdly or suffer unnecessarily. Your subconscious body/mind holds memories, beliefs, fears and ideas that direct your actions every single minute of every single day, below your awareness.
The word “healing” is typically used by psychologists to describe the process of surfacing these hidden beliefs and fears and changing them so they don’t cause you and others harm. But there is also a very different type of healing that is called spiritual healing. I discuss both here and suggest that both psychological and spiritual healing are necessary for awakening to a blissful life.
We all have wounds or knots
About a year ago I went to see a psychologist. When I phoned to make an appointment, she asked me to think about my past experiences and bring along a list of things that were bothering me and the traumas that I had experienced in my life.
I was not aware of any traumas per se but decided to list the past events and memories that I knew were causing me discomfort. I call them baggage. Here are three:
When I was twelve my best girlfriends excluded me from their clique.
In high school my first boyfriend dumped me for a friend of mine.
My mother left our family home and my parents divorced when I was in my teens.
Psychological healing
When I saw the psychologist we discussed these events and lots of other things. Two things became clear. First, I was still hurting from these events and was very sensitive to talking about them. Indeed I cried as my emotions were triggered even though these events happened many years ago. Second, these memories and their accompanying beliefs were interfering with my life in many ways in which I was unaware.
I quickly realized that the role of the psychologist is to help me surface my baggage, realize it’s impact and “heal” it. This usually means talking about it until I can make sense of it and move on.
So for example, in one session I uncovered the following.
I am harboring fears based on past memories (such as the feeling I am not safe).
I have a fear of abandonment causing me to take a long time to trust people.
These fears are impacting me in other many small ways – some healthy, some unhealthy.
My now know that my task in therapy is to slowly reduce the emotional impact of the memories and the hidden fears and beliefs. This can be done (or so I believed), by observing them, recognizing how they are playing out and somehow correcting them.
Do we need fixing?
Another way to look at it is this: psychologists help us fix something that is broken. They help us to become whole by enabling us to integrate and accept all parts of ourselves. Thus the ideal outcome is one in which I feel whole and safe – or less abandoned. I would be able to manage my life fairly well with out being highjacked by my emotions and can respond rather that react. In the process, Ideally I would be cured of my deeply embedded habitual harmful beliefs and adopt more positive beliefs.
Thus the ultimate aim of psychological healing is to help people live better lives with fewer harmful beliefs. This is what is meant by “doing the work.”
“Therapy was not, in the end about diagnosis, procedures or cures, but about developing a new kind of living relationship with one’s own experiencing.” John Welwood
Spiritual healing
Spiritual therapists tend to see healing quite differently. First, they do not see individuals as “broken” but rather simply growing, evolving and expanding - perfectly.
Indeed, all that happens in our lives (whether we deem it good or bad) is a necessary step towards awakening to who we are. Some say we are actually projecting what is inside of us (beliefs) onto our outside world so that we can see them and clear them.
So for example, if we struggle with abandonment issues, then when a parent leaves us, we have an opportunity to learn how to trust and love ourselves more. At the most extreme, we might learn that looking for love from external sources is not a recipe for lasting happiness. In other words, love is an inside job.
The “healing” that we engage in spiritually is like peeling back the layers of an onion and removing the barriers to our authentic pure innocent essence. Each difficulty allows us to remove a false idea and realize that we are always safe and loved - as energetic beings or souls within a physical body.
Lifting the veil of illusion
In addition, as we clear these erroneous beliefs, we are able to remove the so-called “veil of illusion.” This veil is a type of mental block that prevents us all from seeing the full extent of reality. It’s often called the human condition and has at its core the erroneous belief that we are separate from god-source. Indeed, the mystics call this belief of separation the “primary wound” of all humanity. They also suggest that all of our problems stem from this one core belief.
Thus spiritual healing, involves two things: recognizing each struggle as an opportunity to clear and realizing or remembering that we are infinite and extensions of the creator.
Using the example of my abandonment issues, I now realize that each trigger is an opportunity to clear. A small rejection by a friend is a chance for me to love myself more. As well, over time I have slowly instilled the belief that I am connected to all (life, the planet and the god-source) thus feel less abandoned. With meditation and a five-step process (more on that later) I have come to know deep inside that I will always be taken care of. I am safe. I am loved. I am worthy of love. Thus, I feel more able to freely love others and fully experience life without so many fears and worries.
“Enlightenment is not some ideal goal, perfect state of mind, or spiritual realm on high, but a journey that takes place on this earth, it is a process of waking up to all of what we are and making a complete relationship with that.“ John Welwood
The ultimate aim of spiritual healing, therefore, is not just living a normal life, but rather living a life of bliss. This is perhaps why the process of clearing and remembering are never-ending. They are the very journey of life. The journey of waking up.
In summary, there are two types of healing and both are necessary to awakening and living a life of bliss. Psychological healing involves surfacing and adjusting false beliefs so you can live a more peaceful and less reactive life. Spiritual healing involves using life situations as opportunities to clear away false beliefs and by doing so, begin to see beyond the veil and remember the essence of your being. In that state you can live a more authentic and blissful life connected to life, nature, earth and all that is.
In my next entries I talk about:
How to surface hidden beliefs
The origins of human condition
How to use psychology to awaken
Thank you for joining me.
Stay tuned.
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