“While many women today feel more liberated, society now demands that they become superwomen – that they find the inner resources as well as the time and energy to do everything perfectly. And this pressure is not just on women who have paying jobs or professions, but on homemakers as well.” Riane Eisler
A few years ago I wrote a book titled, Motherhood is Madness. It is about how our whole society holds mothers back (this book applies equally to all parents who care for kids and the home).
My favorite example of how this happens is school hours. We designed a school day for kids to be from 8-3. Yet we designed a workday for adults to be from 9-5. That means that working parents have to find childcare for one hour in the morning and two hours in the afternoon, or request flexible work hours.
I experienced this reality as a lawyer and ultimately negotiated to stop work at 3pm and suffered the so-called “mommy penalty” of lower pay and low-level work.
The main point of my book is that there are many real – but invisible- barriers that make it almost impossible for parents to both work and raise a family. So telling moms to just seek more life balance or manage their time better does not really solve the problem.
Unlike other books, in my book I point to our society rather than mothers. Indeed I suggest that moms don’t need to change, but we all do. We need to create families, workplaces and a society in which parents and their children can flourish.
Here are the specific suggestions in my book. Each one of these is an easy-to-read chapter that acknowledges the daily reality of a parent today:
1. Admit that motherhood is madness
2. Stop asking mothers to choose career or family
3. Don’t expect women to be unpaid servants
4. Never expect mothers to be martyrs to kids
5. Recognize the importance of mothering
6. Make childcare available, affordable and acceptable
7. Question the 24/7 work culture and the mommy penalty
8. Ensure mothers are financially independent
9. Adopt a partnership model of the family
10. Value mothers, children and families
11. Compensate and invest in mothers
12. Challenge laws that hold women back
13. Understand and participate in government
14. Encourage mothers to speak up
15. Educate your daughters about marriage
If you want to learn more, please buy my book, or just subscribe here since I will be posting book excerpts. Just so you know, on Amazon I earn $1.10 a book (retail $19.95). Here is the full title: Motherhood is Madness: How to Break the Chains that Prevent Mothers From Being Truly Happy by Maureen Fitzgerald, PhD.
Thanks for joining me on this journey.
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